I like being the one to lift people up. I don’t want to walk into school or work and just ignore the people in my life, but that’s what I do when I can’t manage to be me. When I can’t manage to to be silly or sweet to bring someone up.
I spend my nights psyching myself into feeling good so I can sleep, and my mornings into trying to get out of bed. I couldn’t get myself out of bed today. Not in time for class anyway. I didn’t fall asleep until 10 minutes before my alarm went off, so I couldn’t rouse myself out of bed when the time came to shower I was ready to face humans. I absolutely have to wake up tomorrow. I have to wake up and look happy, “free” headshots depend on it.
Anyway…I just wanna be who I was before. I want to be that person that saw someone sad, and made them laugh. If even for a minute. I don’t want to care about anything.
I want a friend to hug when I break down.