April 2010
double standards
Me: hurry up, pedestrians! You bald man holding a little girl's hand--oh they're a gay couple! How sweet!
Cayla: You were angry at him a minute ago!
Me: but now I know they're family and a family, so I can't be mad at them.
2 tags
On the late night topic of AvocadoSalad's birthday
lady88:
Nat: Sorry I was up so late, I was working on a blingee for Avocado’s birthday. Me: Awwwww. How old is she anyway? Nat: I don’t know…6, 18, 35? No really, I think she’s really pretty young. Me: You should put her in a paper bag in the pantry…she’ll ripen faster.
Ah ha ha ha!
1 tag
…don’t ever say you’re just you, because you are better than...
– Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)
March 2010
My new phone is here
Happy birthday to ME!
2 tags
3 tags
2 tags
Dirty minds are dirty
Lauren: What’s the plan, Jackie Chan? Me: That’s racisit. Lauren: Shut up, I mean what time are we heading into the cities? I get off at 8— Me: That’s a little personal Lauren. Phil:
lol i just caught up on the united states of...
(via melodiesndesires)
I justify my lust for Kate with the fact that the girl who plays her is actually 21.
Neve Campbell and Wes Craven reunite for "Scream... →
I don’t know how I feel about this…
rosalafae asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR AAAAAAANNAAAAAAAAA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO (high C) YOOOOOOOOOOU!
So yeah, don't get depressed 'cause you're over the hill and practically elderly.
So yeah, don't get depressed 'cause you're over the hill and practically elderly.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Liz: Weddings are so weird. This veil costs more than my couch.
Suri: Is that comedy or do you really have a $300 couch?
Liz: Both!
2 tags
4 tags
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
Have a bad day. Lose 3 followers.
1 tag
Love is like an onion—when you peel away layer after stinky layer until...
– Pete Hornberger (30 Rock)
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
Things you learn when your cell phone dies
You don’t know anybody’s number
watches are necessary
flash lights are handy
you’re addicted to your cell phone
I don't mind that you're going out of town on my...
I just wish you wouldn’t have treated me like shit before you left.
2 tags
1 tag
You get a car, and you get car, and YOU get a car!
Tracy: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much do whatever Oprah tells me to.
1 tag
Weird dreams are weird
Last night all my dreams were centered around the sea and romance…sort of. One was in England, and this couple was in a sea side mansion when they got attacked by some German ships. They drowned the man and put a bag with piranhas over his head.
The second dream took place in the Pacific during WWII, in a submarine that was filling with water. There was a nurse on board who had left her...
5 tags
1 tag
3 tags
If you’re a gay guy looking for a beard, I don’t do that anymore!
– Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
3 tags
Business doesn’t get me down. Business gets me off
– Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
…he suddenly wanted to tell her everything. Pet peeves and favorite foods,...
– Pushing Daisies
Lose a follower after blasphemous post
OK, I’ll take that loss.
1 tag
3 tags