February 2012
3 tags
1 tag
1 tag
It sounds like Ralphie's service was a testament...
A packed church followed by a packed bar.
2 tags
“Is your name Little Cesar’s? ‘Cause you look hot ‘n ready.”
– The most amazing pick up line I will ever think of
7 tags
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
“I’m voting for Ron Paul because I just want to bring real change to this country...”
– an idiot (via bringtheruckuss)
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
I think I'm gonna get a suit and have it tailored...
Just because someone wants a fancy day…
1 tag
3 tags
4 tags
3 tags
1 tag
2 tags
“I usually don’t talk about stuff like this on my show but I really want to thank...”
– Ellen DeGeneres responding to the hate group that is pressuring JC Penney to fire DeGeneres from a spokesperson gig, saying the store will “lose customers with traditional values.” (via jessicavalenti)
5 tags
1 tag
“Women who use the metric system are 10’s”
– ANDY ERIKSON: One time a milk carton spit jokes out of it’s nose.
also “Of course bacon is good for you! Why else would it be so shiny and drippy?”
1 tag
3 tags
My dad's close friend is dead, and I can't go to...
No matter that this man was like an uncle to me. No matter this man was among the adults that told me to value my sense of humor. No matter this man told me I was the funniest kid he’d ever met. No matter this man taught me how to fish. No matter this man was the only adult on a boat of five adults that saw I didn’t want to pull the hook out of a fish when it swallowed my hook. No...